false starts: pink floyd

New feature. Freelance assignment for the Pitch asks that I write about the upcoming Pink Floyd Laser Show: "125 words (of mockery if you wish, but far be it from me to assume)." With any of these pieces, I usually start them two dozen times before something actually works. Here, then, are the aborted fruits of my labor.

Every town must have a place where phony hippies meet.

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LSD usage increases dramatically over summer months. The warm weather, the blooming trees and foliage, the prity of people wandering around, targets eager to be hallucinated upon. So as winter settles in, drug users must either wait for the return of spring or head indoors for their mystic crystal revelations. Fear not. Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, the Pink Floyd Lazer Light Show is making the rounds yet again.

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Maybe you feel out of touch with the world. Perhaps you haven’t spent enough time around unshaved, dreadlocked denizens of some patchouli hell.

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The sad fate of rock music legends comes in many forms: cover bands, countless re-issues and the saddest of all, the laser light show. Not many bands can pull it off, but the pot-haze of Pink Floyd has seemingly begged to be set to lasers ever since Syd Barrett lost his mind.