an empty telephone: manifestos // rules to live by Archives

February 15, 2006


	i'm just saying People who use the word 'nabe' as a substitute for neighborhood should be suspended by hooks in their skin and forced to swallow every page of the Oxford Engish Dictionary.... Posted by xtop at 09:42 AM \| Comments (1)

June 15, 2005


	the puzzling saga of the batshit insane On 9-11, I, probably more than anyone on the face of the earth wanted to know who attacked America. Unlike everyone else, I didnt jump to any conclusion. Its not the way I work. That being said, in the Fall of 2000, I wanted to track Osama bin Laden. The agents who at the time monitored my computer said, hands off; we know where he is; we have him in our sights;... Posted by xtop at 11:00 PM \| Comments (0)

May 12, 2005


	notes from the laughing academy I work for a company that has something to do with Ann Coulter, so we tend to get lots of letters and lots of phone calls regarding the foul things she often says. This one came this morning and instead of going in the trash, it came home with me.... Posted by xtop at 12:23 AM \| Comments (5)

February 05, 2004


	ira glass on work "There are people who are fundamentally lazy, who only get anything done because they put themselves under dreadful deadline pressure. Those people are all my brothers."... Posted by xtop at 12:05 AM

February 01, 2004


	the voynich hoax No one has worked out whether Voynichese is a code, an idiosyncratic translation of a known tongue, or gibberish. The text contains some features that are not seen in any language. The most common words are often repeated two or three times, for example the equivalent of English using 'and and and' giving weight to the hoax theory. On the other hand, some aspects, such as the pattern of word... Posted by xtop at 12:08 AM

December 18, 2003


	in search of the perfect coke dealer She leans forward. "I'd really like it to be run like any other business and I don't mind paying more for that. At all. I'd like it to be reputable. I'd like the quality to be consistentto know what I'm going to get, the quantity to be consistent. i think that's what everyone's looking for, really. Convenience, consistency, and quality." "Is there anything else you'd like from your ideal dealer?" I ask.... Posted by xtop at 05:43 PM

December 12, 2003


	the trials of luther winston fortinberry Thanks Timmy.... Posted by xtop at 02:07 PM

October 20, 2003


	three truths "There's three truths. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I always thought there was just one truth." "There are three sides to every story: Your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently."... Posted by xtop at 11:37 PM \| Comments (0)

October 16, 2003


	closing the loupe one of my more regular stopping points as far as blogs go was the loupe. it was well done, well-written and its simple but busy layout was a big virus of thought that shaped my redesign. so after a couple weeks away, i clicked on it and it was gone. the whole fickle nature of the inertnet is its best asset and most frustrating aspect. one day a whole year, several... Posted by xtop at 12:43 AM \| Comments (2)

August 30, 2003


	from the mouths of russian presidents "The sea demands discipline, it does not forgive any kind of blunder or mistake."... Posted by xtop at 10:34 AM \| Comments (2)

August 07, 2003


	book of vinny: existential starbucks This morning at Starbucks: I heard the barista announce, "grande mocha frapaccino," and pause. No one picked up the drink so he said it again. Finally, a woman approached the counter and asked, "is that a mocha frapaccino?" "Yes, it's a grande mocha frapaccino." "I ordered a mocha frapaccino." "It's a grande mocha frapaccino." "Oh, it must be mine." I suddenly realized that nothing in this world was pure and holy anymore... Posted by xtop at 10:21 AM \| Comments (0)

July 16, 2003


	psychogeography "Psychogeography is the study of the effects of geographical settings, consciously managed or not, acting directly on the mood and behaviour of the individual". Psychogeography research is carried through non-scientific methods such as the derive, aimless drifting through the city, trying to record the emotions given by a particular place; and mental mapping, the production of mood-based maps. Psychogeography was developed as a critique of urbanism by the Lettrist International and then... Posted by xtop at 12:10 AM

July 12, 2003


	the politics of trash Technically, this is a journalistic exercise--at least, that's what we keep telling ourselves. We're upholding our sacred trust as representatives of the Fourth Estate. Comforting the afflicted, afflicting the comfortable. Pushing the reportorial envelopeby liberating the trash of Portland's top brass. We didn't dream up this idea on our own. We got our inspiration from the Portland police.... Posted by xtop at 02:55 AM


	operation ugly aware img src="http://chadallen.net/crac/uglysticker.jpg"> print and apply... Posted by xtop at 02:51 AM \| Comments (3)

July 11, 2003


	The WTO speaks a little too honestly Follow the exploits of anti-trade collective with access to near-perfect WTO website replica who get invited to lecture an international group of distinguished lawyers on the ideology of the World Trade Organization. Some things involved: double agents, pies, bacteria, bananas, sleeping italians, powerpoint and, in a separate prank involving Finland, a golden leotard with three-foot phallus.... Posted by xtop at 05:22 PM


	more billboard corrections California Department of Corrections Q: Can you explain the internal operations of the department without compromising the security of the institution? For example, how do you decide which ads need to be corrected? A: Every advertisement harbors latent criminal behavior and requires specialized care and treatment. The CDC prioritizes billboards that discriminate on the basis of gender, race, sexual orientation, national origin, religion, disability and/or economic background. Q: What is your... Posted by xtop at 04:11 PM


	billboard liberation front Old fashioned notions about art, science and spirituality being the peak achievements and the noblest goals of the spirit of man have been dashed on the crystalline shores of Acquisition; the holy pursuit of consumer goods. All old forms and philosophies have been cleverly co-opted and re"spun" as marketing strategies and consumer campaigns by the new shamans, the Ad men. You can switch off/smash/shoot/hack or in other ways avoid Television, Computers and... Posted by xtop at 03:58 PM

May 22, 2003


	the book of vinny "all i want for my birthday is the will to live" "Sleep is a lover I rarely kiss. I don't make love to sleep, I rape her."... Posted by xtop at 02:20 PM

March 14, 2003


	mind control // vera Place an "X" ahead of any of the following symptoms of the harassment typical of electronic mind weapon targets (non-electronic harassment usually goes with the electronic effects): __ You find that all of your family, friendship, and business relationships are going sour and you have done nothing to cause this __ You find that "accidental" blocking of you as you walk or drive about, by strangers, has increased dramatically and every... Posted by xtop at 10:45 AM \| Comments (5)

March 07, 2003


	jenny holzer truisms A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE CAN GO A LONG WAY A LOT OF PROFESSIONALS ARE CRACKPOTS A SINGLE EVENT CAN HAVE INFINITELY MANY INTERPRETATIONS ABSOLUTE SUBMISSION CAN BE A FORM OF FREEDOM ABUSE OF POWER COMES AS NO SURPRISE ACTION CAUSES MORE TROUBLE THAN THOUGHT ALIENATION PRODUCES ECCENTRICS OR REVOLUTIONARIES ALL THINGS ARE DELICATELY INTERCONNECTED AT TIMES INACTIVITY IS PREFERABLE TO MINDLESS FUNCTIONING BOREDOM MAKES YOU DO CRAZY THINGS CONFUSING YOURSELF IS A WAY... Posted by xtop at 09:03 PM \| Comments (1)


	"we're playing jenny holzer" " please change beliefs.... Posted by xtop at 08:55 PM \| Comments (0)

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