...got my kiss records out: my spaceship runs on logic Archives

June 01, 2006


	worse fates As stated in the post previous, I got angry at my job. Yesterday, in the middle of what turned out to be a 15 HOUR DAY, I came perilously close to quitting. Putting in my two weeks' notice, more precisely, cause while I might be hair-trigger, I'm not dumb, and saying to hell with it. That thought plagued me all day and evening, with a complete lack of distractions save a well-cooked... Posted by xtop at 09:36 PM \| Comments (2)

May 22, 2006


	the silicone chip inside her head gets switched to overload Going to sleep last night after several sips of scotch and TV on DVD, I willed myself to get up on time so I could make the slow drive out to Kansas City, Kansas, where I was scheduled to throw myself on the mercy of the Wyandotte County courts. At the appointed time, maybe even earlier, I woke up and squinted my way through the morning until I actually entered Courtroom #2... Posted by xtop at 10:08 PM \| Comments (1)

April 19, 2006


	nothing's hurt except my pride, and my eye These look exactly alike, right? If it were late and you were tired and dreading the next day and you go into the bathroom for some eyedrops, you expect to put those in your eyes and go lay down and read for a bit, well, you'd be well within your rights. Except that companies are now officially fucking with you. Because in your medicine cabinet are many things, wonderous-smelling things and... Posted by xtop at 10:29 PM \| Comments (2)

April 10, 2006


	things i learned this weekend button fly jeans are not "good airport pants." I found this out when I went through the security screen at KCI and got wanded repeatedly and, when that didn't reveal conclusively that I was just wearing button fly jeans, I was taken into the creepy backroom where I had to unbutton myself in front of two TSA dudes. Fortunately I wasn't freeballing, though the story ending with me showing my junk... Posted by xtop at 12:10 AM \| Comments (2)

March 17, 2006


	in your sociopathic dreams I had a long, involved dream wherein I was vacationing in the far east and a torrential rain kept falling and falling and falling. It got so bad that the streets began to flood and then thousands of locals began trying to get into where we (the Americans, I guess) were hiding out, banging at and smashing in the windows to get to dry land. I, of course, grabbed my camera. At... Posted by xtop at 06:20 AM \| Comments (1)

February 24, 2006


	i don't wanna grow up Overheard at the office today, "I know I'm middle aged now because most of the clothes I wear, I buy off TV." This is one of many reasons I now broadcast a constant dosage of pink noise to myself through my headphones instead of bathing in the luxury of the human workplace.... Posted by xtop at 11:53 PM \| Comments (0)

February 16, 2006


	odds. sods. wounds. I'm now a freelance photographer for the Pitch. See my first picture here or, for a better representation (these things get cropped out and whatnot for the web not that I think it's a stellar photo, but considering the circumstances I went through to get it, it's pretty good for a first effort), pick up a copy. Funny sidenote, was looking for the picure last night and it kept loading as... Posted by xtop at 10:24 AM \| Comments (1)

January 31, 2006


	lightheaded .flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; } .flickr-yourcomment { } .flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } lightheaded, originally uploaded by xtopalopaquetl. The non-smoking continues, though to what overall, lasting benefit I remain unsure. Is it really worth all this mess? Living the rest of my life constantly denying myself cigarettes. Cause I still want them, a lot. It's a feeling that, while it... Posted by xtop at 10:43 PM \| Comments (6)

January 01, 2006


	the first day of the rest of your year I woke up at 8, I woke up at 11, I woke up at 1. Smoked several cigarettes, commenced trying to learn Satie's "Gymnopedie" and drank some flavored water. Thought about what to cook for dinner, now that I finally have a kitchen you can cook in. Made phone calls, put the Glenlivet away and dumped the remnants of last night's interrupted Miller Light down the sink. I'm sitting outside, without a... Posted by xtop at 04:36 PM \| Comments (0)

December 31, 2005


	gunfire is everywhere i wish for the apocalypse That's the text message I tried to send my friend Matt Glasson in response to his New Year's wishes, standing in the middle of my apartment with gunfire going off all around me. Starting somewhere around 8pm, the air has been repeatedly cut with the sounds of people emptying out their clips into the sky with joyous abandon. I grew up in Chicago, where people firing guns up in the air was... Posted by xtop at 11:28 PM \| Comments (2)

December 23, 2005


	because christmas can't get stranger Timmy and I stood on the porch, I grabbed a broom and handed him a pair of garden shears. "What do I do with this?" he asked. "Just jab them at anyone who runs at you." I watched a cop dust a copy of the video game Medal of Honor: Rising Sun for fingerprints. I got a Kangol hat as a present 2 hours after purchasing a Kangol hat. And, lastly, this... Posted by xtop at 11:59 PM \| Comments (3)

December 16, 2005


	my christmas miracle Today, like everywhere across the nation, was the office Christmas party, complete with chocolate fountain (which seems to be the ice sculpture of the aughts), fancy food and libations. There was also a christmas tree-off and a drawing for prizes. Just a box and a pile of slips of paper and pens next to it. So, being the child I am, I write down "I.P. Freely" and stuff it in the box.... Posted by xtop at 06:06 PM \| Comments (0)

December 13, 2005


	last gasp or prophecy You know how you wake up at 4am to vomit out of a heady mixture of stress, anxiety and general dread and when you're done vomiting and you just want to go back to bed and you muse laughingly, throat still burning from vomit, "Wow, well, this day can only go up from here."? Sometimes, not so much.... Posted by xtop at 11:57 PM \| Comments (1)

October 28, 2005


	overheard halloween "So what are your kids dressing up as?" "Oh, Austin is going as the devil and George is going as, um, who was that guy who murdered all those people with a chainsaw?"... Posted by xtop at 02:24 PM \| Comments (2)

October 10, 2005


	why you should always answer the phone Phone rings. I answer it. On the other end is my friend Terrance from Chicago, who, prone to opening conversations with non-sequiturs, asks me "Hey, do you remember the guy from Fargo with the wood chipper?" So, since I sometimes serve as T's memory, I say "Yeah. Peter Stormare." "Yeah, him. He's here in the store." T. works in an art supply store. "Wow, really?" "Yeah. Hold on." Then I hear T.... Posted by xtop at 08:33 PM \| Comments (1)

October 04, 2005


	things i've learned so far this week I can still operate rather successfully over a 36 hour period with just 3 hours of sleep. I am prone to hallucinations far more easily when lacking said sleep. People who self-identify themselves as liberals are lazy motherfuckers no good at returning emails or living up to their promises I need to practice more Writer's block isn't a problem, just write a list or take a walk... Posted by xtop at 10:33 PM \| Comments (9)

October 01, 2005


	nevermind I'm sitting on the second floor of a house converted into a coffee shop, and this is so terribly like the coffee shops of legend and mythical horribleness that it's almost thrilling to be a part of this scene. I'm sitting in a dim room with an asian asian-looking man with a texas accent in a hawaiian shirt and sweatpants while through the door I can hear someone playing the same damn... Posted by xtop at 09:44 PM \| Comments (5)

September 09, 2005


	no one speaks english and everything's broken Alive! I live! Last night I finally pushed the last little tetris block into place, everything glowed, flashed and disappeared and like that, I am a functional computer owner again. Now I must perseverate over data, oh, precious data, and put everything in its place, assuming there is a place for everything. Turns out everything I needed to fix my dilemma was sitting in a desk drawer, the one drawer I apparently... Posted by xtop at 01:04 PM \| Comments (3)

September 01, 2005


	where i'm calling from When I finally got home for the last time last night, I grabbed my stuff out of the car and coughed up a huge lump of stuff from my throat and spit it against the brick wall which comprises the outer structure of the Rent-A-Center which sits adjacent to our parking lot (now that's an opening line!). I spit on the wall not because I'm crass or foul (I'm those things for... Posted by xtop at 04:16 PM \| Comments (2)

August 29, 2005


	how we now spell relief I came down with a sinus thing this weekend, starting somewhere late into Friday night and emerging full-blown, headachey and angry on Saturday morning. It felt like my last morning in Chicago this past April, waking up around 6 am to go to the airport after drinking heavily all night until 2:30 or 3, that kind of sleepless, bleary, pounding horror. So I ignored it for the best part of Saturday, until... Posted by xtop at 11:55 AM \| Comments (2)

August 15, 2005


	in the lot out back So I get ready to leave the house yesterday, despite the pounding headache I suffered through all morning and afternoon. I step out the back door around 5 or so, the sky lit brightly and the air cool enough to warrant turning off the a/c and opening every window. I lock both back doors and start down the stairs, when I look over at the lot, and there, in a strange car,... Posted by xtop at 11:27 AM \| Comments (7)

August 02, 2005


	on the first day of august my true love gave to me A mental health day, I guess. I woke up at 8, the alarm still going off and me still not getting up. So I said fuckit. I have 19 sick days coming to me. NINETEEN. That's a lot of sickness I'll thankfully never acquire, so I decided to use "lack of sleep" as a form of sickness and called my boss, who was as non-chalant as possible and said "That's cool. Get... Posted by xtop at 08:21 AM \| Comments (6)

July 30, 2005


	high cuisine, low sleep Matt, Kelly Sue, Laurenn and myself went to Le Fou Frog for a fuckload (that's the proper term for lots in french, right?) of French food last night. The menu consisted of: Escargot, Mussels, Oysters, Veal brains on a bed of potatoes, Lobster Bisque, Goat Cheese Salad, Buffalo, Venison, Lobster tails and Snapper. And it took 3 hours to eat it all, not including the ill-advised ordering of desserts. It was the... Posted by xtop at 01:51 PM \| Comments (1)

July 22, 2005


	zombiesleep Last night I took three capsules of Valerian Root, which smells like someone took a dump and then someone let it sit out in the sun and then someone else put it into capsules. I blew up the air mattress and crashed in the middle of my dining room and slept pretty well . . . until the zombie dream started. Zombies swarming the streets and, from my third-floor view, camera crews... Posted by xtop at 08:52 AM \| Comments (9)

July 21, 2005


	the persecution of my sleep by my invisible european enemies I stopped partaking of a certain habit about two months ago, some of which had to do with finances and some of which had to do with the fact that it just wasn't as fun as it used to be. I packed up my paraphernalia and shoved it in a backpack and stuck said backpack in my front closet and proceeded to get on with the business of living. Simple enough. I... Posted by xtop at 11:37 AM \| Comments (10)

July 20, 2005


	ah, wednesdays I used to like Wednesdays. Wednesdays used to be when new comics came out and Wednesdays used to be payday and Wednesdays just looked like a neat word on the page and was fun to say and it was hump day and who doesn't love a Wednesday? Now, now I hate the Wednesday and I dread it the way people dread pap smears and traffic court. I want to love Wednesdays... Posted by xtop at 12:27 PM \| Comments (1)

July 10, 2005


	if i can make it here, i can make it the fuck back home Am now in New York, having survived my plane back across the ocean, cleared customs and refigured out the subways here. Of course, the rising tide of bile came right back with it. Selah. Tonight I head back to KC and get a few hours to relax before having to go back to work tomorrow morning. God help me. And Jeff, lazy lazy sod that he is, didn't post anything at all.... Posted by xtop at 08:29 AM \| Comments (0)

July 07, 2005


	a safe place So, in case you were unawares, I'm safe, alive, all that. I head back to London tomorrow, which should be completely bizarre in its own right. My flight back to the states leaves Saturday afternoon, and I get back to KC Sunday evening. There's a shitload of pictures up at my flickr account. Way more than normal. More soon.... Posted by xtop at 06:02 PM \| Comments (2)

July 05, 2005


	happy birthday me I guess I turn 30 at 4:23 CST. I have no idea what time it is now. 6:10? Last night I slept good for the first time in almost a week. God bless. I'll be staying at the Temple BarPrincipal Hotel (on Fleet Street) in Dublin if anyone wants to call and deliver love telephonically. Room 408... Posted by xtop at 06:11 AM \| Comments (9)

July 01, 2005


	here i am Jeff doesn't seem to be posting. Maybe I'm being prematurely afraid. I'm in an internet cafe in Camden Town, booking a new hostel cause the one I'm staying at tonight is total ass. Rubber mattress, dirty dirty everything and kind of out of the way of everything. Camden Town is kinda like every dirty, hippie, goth, kid hangout you've ever been in and wanted to be away from. Lots of street markets,... Posted by xtop at 12:51 PM \| Comments (2)

June 30, 2005


	heatstroke, cancelled flights, cinnebons So, I'm not in New York as planned. I'm not even home. I'm at the Fritchconnicks', soon to be sleeping on their couch, soon to be dreaming dreams of the airport, where I am going to be spending all day tomorrow. Today, at 4:30 on the nose, me and Harold pulled out of the garage at work, me leaving my car behind and lugging the two bags I'm taking with me to... Posted by xtop at 12:54 AM \| Comments (0)

June 22, 2005


	movies (and assault with a deadly weapon) under the stars The double feature this weekend at the Boulevard Drive-in was Batman Begins and House of Wax, a feature so wonderful in the imagination that I have to believe that Wes, the doddering old man who runs the shoddy gravel lot, half-assed speakers and giant white screen in Rosedale, Kansas, had read my mind. So I go with Matt and we watch Batman and it is fun. It's perfect drive-in fodder, all the... Posted by xtop at 07:10 AM \| Comments (2)

May 13, 2005


	wherever you are, there you go So I'm going to Europe in 6 weeks or so. Should be a pip. Or I'll have my eye sucked out by a hooligan. Either way, I'm going. At this point, I'm just about done booking the flight (premium economy! -- which means footrests and a glass of champagne.) and I'll be flying into Heathrow. But I'm still working on the whole where do I go aspect of it. Anyone have any... Posted by xtop at 11:42 PM \| Comments (9)

May 09, 2005


	monday morning in america Of all the ways you could wake up on a Monday morning, being woken up by a phone call from the first Poet Laureate of Kansas isn't such a bad way to start the week.... Posted by xtop at 10:46 AM \| Comments (0)

May 02, 2005


	where i'm calling from So you know how it's like you're busy like a sonuvabitch and you can't even seemingly stop to relax because you're too busy thinking 22 steps ahead to the weekend when you can (ostensibly) get some extra sleep and slamming an energy drink once a day just to stuff 2 or 3 more hours into the sack of life and your hands get all trembly and it's suddenly 3 in the morning... Posted by xtop at 01:50 AM \| Comments (16)

April 13, 2005


	2nd place Picture those awful dreams where you find yourself in a large crowd, wearing no clothes at all, and then picture yourself having to spell 'DISSYMMETRY' and that kind of approaches the nervous energy of being in a spelling bee. Especially when you're hovering on the edge of 30 years old and you have nothing to gain but the public admission that you're both nerdy enough to know how to spell and to... Posted by xtop at 01:38 AM \| Comments (1)

April 05, 2005


	word nerd I will be spelling my peripatetic heart out with sesquipedalian intensity this Thursday. I spell for honor, I spell for pride, I spell for my company. I spell because there's a free buffet and beer and gimp prizes for the losers. I spell because I have no choice but not to spell. C'mon out if you have absolutely no life.... Posted by xtop at 10:33 PM \| Comments (0)

March 31, 2005


	i have eaten all your poison and now i am angry Posted by xtop at 11:41 PM \| Comments (4)

March 25, 2005


	day one (take two): confession time So, uh, back in August/September, somewhere between LA and San Francisco, I kinda started smoking again. What followed was 6 months of sliding on a slippery slope. a pack, pack and a half a day's worth of backsliding and blown resolve. I am very sorry, Internet(s). I have now resumed being quit and am now rounding the base of my first 24 hours without a smoke since sometime in October. Maybe. I've... Posted by xtop at 12:28 AM \| Comments (6)

March 12, 2005


	love story Oh, it's been a long hard day. I'm listening to something on the automotive hi-fi as I pull into the lot, parking right by the stairs, right under the giant floodlight. I grab my bag, the faceplate, a stack of mail, a cup of coffee and my CD wallet, trying to keep all of it in my hands as I lock and slam the door. Only now do I realize there's a... Posted by xtop at 12:49 AM \| Comments (4)

March 11, 2005


	the death of WNIB "The Cat I am holding is named Abigail" via 2001, before the axe fell: For nearly half a century, lovers of classical music in the Chicago area have been turning to WNIB-FM (97.1) for eclectic and sometimes obscure programming. They hear live broadcasts of the Cleveland and the San Francisco Symphony Orchestras, interviews with contemporary composers and even, on April Fools' Day, broadcasts of a work by John Cage that consists... Posted by xtop at 07:50 AM \| Comments (1)

March 07, 2005


	dear crackhead Please stop breaking into my car. I don't leave my stereo in there any longer and you've been through my CDs twice now, not even bothering to take my bitchin' 2-disc Otis Redding anthology. Also, you may want to consider sobering up before smashing a window, since it seems your first attempt with the rock (good find, by the way, nice and pointy on one side, smooth and rounded on the other)... Posted by xtop at 07:18 AM \| Comments (16)

February 28, 2005


	i watch you while you sleep Ladies and germs, the newest animal who lives in my house. In keeping with naming new animals after key members of the Watergate conspiracy, I've named him Deep Throat. He lives in a hole in the ceiling and he likes individual servings of oatmeal.... Posted by xtop at 01:00 AM \| Comments (5)

January 27, 2005


	i am made of fucking magic I got strep throat. Again. Twice in one month. Fuck April, January is the cruelest month.... Posted by xtop at 06:01 PM \| Comments (3)

January 26, 2005


	confluence! : baker street Matt emails me on Sunday, asking if I happen to have an mp3 of Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street. I, of course, do and send it off to him. I haven't listened to it in years, and can't remember hearing it in forever, mostly because the cheesy pop fodder from bygone eras I want to hear is not what muzak and the like have decided is worth broadcasting in coffee shops and grocery... Posted by xtop at 10:45 PM \| Comments (5)

January 15, 2005


	hobo socks this is what happens when you have the strep throat (which I have apparently had since last Wednesday) and haven't gone out in like a week and you watch way too much of Ken Burns' Civil War and eat only soup and the first stages of cabin fever / batshit madness begin to set in. You create hobo socks. then you talk about it on the inertnet.... Posted by xtop at 11:50 AM \| Comments (3)

January 10, 2005


	happy birthday, chum Posted by xtop at 11:47 AM \| Comments (0)

December 27, 2004


	going on a vic ride I have just swallowed 2 vicodin to help ease the dental horror of a root canal, which marks the grand finale of a year of brand new trauma in my mouth. I didn't have any problems through the first 10 months of the year, and then the dentists called me to remind me about a little procedure known as scaling that needed to happen about a year ago and never did. Scaling's... Posted by xtop at 07:29 PM \| Comments (2)

December 24, 2004


	don't despair just because it's christmas My friend Katrina, erstwhile yodeler, sent out this picture of herself on the job, extending her big-hatted, bright-feathered Las Vegas wish for the happiest of holidays. Everyone here at the Thoughtpeach.com wishes you a Merry Christmas, I guess. Omaha here we come. shitload of new entries, top 10 blah blah of the year and what have you coming before 2005 crushes our brains, promise. -the management... Posted by xtop at 10:07 AM \| Comments (0)

November 18, 2004


	secret life of daytime I took a 'personal day' today to attend to various needs, foremost being not going to work. At one point, I loaded a backpack with a big cider jar full of change full right up the neck and coming out the, uh, mouth hole and went to the Slum Flesh to dump it all in one of those giant change machines. As soon as I started dumping stuff into the... Posted by xtop at 07:04 PM \| Comments (0)

November 16, 2004


	protest in miniature Posted by xtop at 01:06 AM \| Comments (2)

October 17, 2004


	long and hard is the road that leads out of hell (and southern california) Waking up to my second day in LA, the clouds have parted and the sun is shining; one of those pristine visions of life on the west coast where the palm trees are greener than green and the pretty people look even prettier. So, of course, Harold and I pack our bags, toss them in the back of the rental car and hit the 405 for a race through the state. There... Posted by xtop at 11:07 PM \| Comments (8)

September 24, 2004


	i'm going to hit you if you mess this up, okay? When I flawlessly perform a piece from my book, Adult Adventures in Piano (Adventures!), I get a star on the page. Once I get got a star on my chest for being so good. Sadly, I live for these moments, these quaint little validations that I am not, in fact, a total clod. In the vein of getting stickers as a reward, piano lessons are a lot like grade school, where your... Posted by xtop at 12:43 AM \| Comments (2)

September 05, 2004


	lookit that bum over there, man, he's down on his knees So, one guy's opinion here, but LA's awful. It's not so much that it's a nightmare city jam-packed with strip malls disguised as 'promenades', or that relaxation seems anathema, or that it is, in fact, hot and sunny all the time or that traffic there is so predictable and yet so out of the blue, one time being due to a cop just swerving across all 4 lanes for his own ostensible... Posted by xtop at 04:41 AM \| Comments (10)

August 24, 2004


	criminalia Ever since moving to Kansas City, it seems as though the criminal element I've always been around but never been touched by has seen fit to reach out and teach me a few lessons in never assuming you're safe. In the 25 years I lived in Chicago, I was never subject to a break-in, to my car getting fucked with, to even the slightest bit of street violence (though I did get... Posted by xtop at 11:52 PM \| Comments (0)

August 20, 2004


	tonight So I am not going to the AC Newman show. I will not be seeing Rogue Wave. Nor will I be seeing the Neins. Nor will I see the Grand Champeens, who are not even from Lawrence, they are from Austin, and have been inexplicably added to the bill which is already full to bursting. So I will not drive the 45 dead, pitch black and flat minutes to Lawrence for a... Posted by xtop at 04:22 PM \| Comments (2)

August 17, 2004


	nancy boy! nancy boy! If you ever want to feel like an utter moron lacking both coordination and the capacity for rational, expansive thought, take piano lessons when you're no longer 6. You will question your ability to recite the alphabet, to tell your left from your right, to move your hands and feet and talk all at the same time. The first reaction I always get when I tell people is, "Are you serious?" When... Posted by xtop at 02:21 AM \| Comments (11)

July 06, 2004


	seventeen Because I am shameless, because it was my birthday, because isn't it about time i got back to the blog-familiar blog entries?, because I have no internal editor at the moment to tell me not to post it, I post it: On the night I turn 29, the radio is on Art Bell, whose show is alive with doombringers, naysayers, deathly serious joykillers and righteous agenda-touters, all predicting what the future will... Posted by xtop at 11:51 PM \| Comments (7)

July 01, 2004


	desktops.040701 work- home-... Posted by xtop at 11:01 PM \| Comments (0)

June 23, 2004


	brainbox go Posted by xtop at 03:47 PM \| Comments (2)

June 22, 2004


	two months // odds.ends Two months. Bam. Fuckit. This is simple. A cakewalk. Commit Lozenge dude, you are a PUSSY. Though, the other night, I was driving down some innocuous Kansas City street with the radio off and heard, whizzing past someone, the word cigarettes perfectly. I sometimes imagine walking into a store and buying a pack, but only in the same way you sometimes envision walking into a bar and buying whiskey sours all night,... Posted by xtop at 10:36 PM \| Comments (10)

May 26, 2004


	Happy 55th Posted by xtop at 11:19 PM \| Comments (0)

May 20, 2004


	one month: yep I went to a bar last weekend to take in the Found Magazine tour. In addition to picking up a copy of the new Found book, I also had a $6 Jack and Coke which is a lot considering how watered down it was and how I could've just crossed the street and gotten twice the booze for 2 bucks less. It being my first time in a bar and my... Posted by xtop at 10:47 PM \| Comments (3)

May 13, 2004


	bladow Posted by xtop at 08:16 AM \| Comments (0)

May 09, 2004


	week three: here goes Most Sunday mornings are reserved for Old Man Breakfast, a habit initiated by myself and Vinny, when we would get together once a week, usually Saturday mornings, like two old men coming together to go over what happened in the week previous, lingering over coffee, and me lingering over cigarettes after Vinny quit. In KC, Old Man Breakfast is usually in the company of Jim and Tina, which was my company this... Posted by xtop at 01:42 AM \| Comments (10)

May 01, 2004


	day eight: half-right After Day 3, everything feels like a walk in the park. I no longer feel radioactive with withdrawal and stoned sickness. I go to the video store and rent a boatload of movies, then quickly discover when I leave that I have no interest in watching any of them. I go out to write and I just spin my wheels, getting a line or three down and then collapsing under the weight... Posted by xtop at 01:15 PM \| Comments (7)

April 26, 2004


	day three: oblivion go Two things: 1. They say that quitting cigarettes is harder than kicking heroin (this is also the same they that also says that peas are the poor mans steak). 2. Kicking heroin is apparently a very hard thing to do. These are two things you should keep in your head on Day 3. Because Day 3 starts with me opening my eyes in a dark room, checking the clock to see that... Posted by xtop at 09:51 PM \| Comments (9)

April 23, 2004


	day two: rack focus In 11 years of smoking, I can accurately state that I've smoked every day for the last ten years. A pack a day, for three years. Throw in three years of 2 packs a day and 4 years of pack and a half a day. With that much chemical intake whirring through my body, I'm a walking chemistry set, perfectly balanced with 20 slow-effect innoculations every day for the last thousand days.... Posted by xtop at 10:09 PM \| Comments (3)

April 22, 2004


	day one: blown Roughly 19 hours ago, I was half-awake in my thinking chair, working on website stuff, deadline stuff, pointless, inertnet stuff. I stubbed out my cigarette and shortly, my hand went for the pack, and it was empty. Fraction came over to borrow a smoke, and I apologized, said I was out, that I was going to head to the Quik Trip for more smokes. He dug up a loose Marlboro next... Posted by xtop at 07:54 PM \| Comments (5)

April 17, 2004


	my life in fishing: learning, succeeding, pontificating I hold him in front of me, staring at him, and while I feel the keening excitement of having succeeded not once, but twice, I also feel the letdown, the all animals are sad after coitus feeling, because there are hundreds of fish in this lake and I want every single one to bear the mark of me in their mouth, a jagged little hole that claims every piece of swimming life as mine. Posted by xtop at 04:25 PM \| Comments (3)

March 17, 2004


	last transmission from the ibook it's a miracle i got it up and running this long. after this, it'll be nothing but the new routine of dead screen, lockups and uselessness. moving the whole operation over to a powerbook and sticking this son of a bitch on a bookshelf. regular blogging commences posthaste. c'est pas juste.... Posted by xtop at 01:05 AM \| Comments (1)

March 07, 2004


	stubbed out like cigarette butts Today, we say a prayer for Cornelius, the 4th car I have killed. As a proud member of the army of functional wreckage, Cornelius lasted less than a year, taking me from Chicago to KC to Omaha and back, until it finally died on a stretch of road in Kansas. Most other times, I've reacted with horror, with anger, with a dull shouting in my brain a shout which translates to... Posted by xtop at 01:26 AM \| Comments (4)

March 03, 2004


	my adventures in menus without pictures Tonight found me at the Udipi Cafe in Overland Park, Kansas, home of the proud white flight of Kansas City. Jacob Corbin invited Matt, Kelly Sue and myself out to dinner on him, courtesy of the ever-friendly folks who hand out grants to students, along with his friend Theresa Bembnister (and don't think I don't notice, appreciate and, yes, love the fact that I can link everyone at the table). Almost everything... Posted by xtop at 11:49 PM \| Comments (6)

February 06, 2004


	snowbound "Hi, Dave? Yeah, I can't get out of my parking lot at all. I've dug holes straight through the ice with my tires and my engine is starting to melt. I tried cardboard under the tires, shovelling snow away and pushing it. Nothing's working. I can't even back up and park because I'm within a few feet of ramming into my neighbor's car. So yeah, I'm not gonna make it in to... Posted by xtop at 11:17 AM \| Comments (4)

January 31, 2004


	obligatory post talking about the new year January is a walking coma. Everything slows and shuts down while the brain takes over, stitching together wounds, making lost connections, mustering enough preparation and enthusiasm to get the flesh around it up and at it yet again. After the gauntlet of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, January is recuperating from the successive blows to bank accounts, sleep cycles and blood alcohol levels. Its when winter moves in for the kill. January... Posted by xtop at 11:56 PM

December 28, 2003


	these are the people in the neighborhood Sitting on the porch, enjoying a cigarette in the 50 degree december weather, a big blue conversion van pulls up across the street and parks. no one exits. After the cigarette is finished, a woman in the van begins yelling "You got come all over me. Don't tell me that's not come, cause I know it is." She continues yelling this over and over, louder and more outraged each time. Pretty soon,... Posted by xtop at 01:54 AM \| Comments (1)

November 27, 2003


	for john dillinger, in hopes he is still alive Subject: Secrets of the World Revealed on I-29 Date: Sat, 25 Nov 2000 Dear McSweeney's, My car ran out of gas and would not start again, stuck on the shoulder of a 2 lane highway. I put the "Need Gas" sign in the window and got out and began walking. I debated with the wisdom, but eventually stuck out my thumb, but did not turn around so as to appear more roguish... Posted by xtop at 02:19 PM \| Comments (1)

November 19, 2003


	baby roundup Isabella Leigh Stempleman b. July 26, 2003 Stupidly late congrats Jordan and Marlee Carl George Dahlberg b. November 11, 2003 Somewhat late congrats Gus and Val... Posted by xtop at 11:49 PM


	cats in heat and what they do My cat, Goon, has exploded into some sort of mutant full-on heat, which may be the most unendurably obnoxious behavior I've ever lived with, and that's counting every irritating roommate I've ever had. My new soundtrack is this low keening noise that sounds off every 10 seconds, a whine half inquisitive and half pain and loud enough to be heard in every corner of the apartment. Combine this with her new... Posted by xtop at 06:03 AM \| Comments (106)

October 28, 2003


	my life in fishing: success When the guy you're fishing with comes out of his house brandishing a 10 gallon white bucket and you don't flinch, don't even regard it as something strange, you know that something has changed for both of you. On the way down to the lake, we both agreed that we now had to catch a fish, catch several, catch enough that whatever inside us that hungered to drag a fish flopping from... Posted by xtop at 07:33 PM \| Comments (1)

October 24, 2003


	let me go A guy I knew once told me about the concept of Fortune's (pronounced For-two-nuss) Wheel. He even drew it out on a blackboard. It's a ferris wheel, basically, and like the ride, sometimes you're riding the crest and sometimes you're inches from the bottom position. The mind blowing point being that the wheel is ever-turning and though you might be on the top right now, everyone has to serve some time on the bottom. Hence the last two months of my life. Posted by xtop at 05:12 PM

September 04, 2003


	kc: this weekend: bam three things of fairly impressive note going on this weekend: 1. This is Kate Bingaman from Obsessive Consumption and I was just writing you to tell you that obsessive consumption is having a show at the Leedy - Voulkos Gallery. It opens Sept 5th (this Friday). The reception is from 6-9 and the address of the gallery is 2012 Baltimore Ave in Kansas City. It will be up until the 26th of... Posted by xtop at 10:03 AM \| Comments (6)

August 17, 2003


	my life in fishing: solo Yeah man, just smash it open. Hell, there might be a pearl inside. I didnt want to get into the whole clam/oyster differential, and James had gotten a sense of my squeamishness, first in overcoming the repeating spearing of worms and now in the prospect of mindlessly stomping a clam open to harvest its flesh to catch more of its ilk. So I did it. The clam split open with a big gush of water and pieces of shell spinning away from underfoot. No pearl. James, disappointed, returns to pursuing his turtle. Then the old fisherman shows up. He has two tackle boxes, three poles, one big cooler and a take no bullshit from youngsters attitude. He regards the both of us with a slightly leery disposition, me even moreso since Im the naïve white kid come to fish with no knowledge at all. When I point out the clam I caught, he brushes it off, a literal sweep of his hand. Everyones caught one of those. He takes James under his wing and teaches him how to cast. I hook a hunk of clam onto my hook and cast out. Posted by xtop at 11:04 PM \| Comments (1)

August 11, 2003


	my life in fishing Since moving to Missouri, Ive taken up a number of different hobbies, oddball pursuits that make little to no sense in the context of who I was in Chicago. Thats not entirely true, because I had gotten somewhat enthralled with the concept of golf. As in driving range. This is about all I brought with me, and turned it into a mantra of frustration and catharsis every Friday afternoon after another week... Posted by xtop at 10:46 PM \| Comments (6)

August 04, 2003


	katrina loncaric: yodeler My friend Katrina is involved in a yodeling contest via Yahoo in which the riches and fame are well-deserved on her part. If you have a moment, please go here, click on the Vote Now button (under the New York, NY header) and vote for her. Swear to god, she'll be really grateful.... Posted by xtop at 10:28 AM \| Comments (0)

July 20, 2003


	this was the week that was: 7.20.03 Weekends are a wash. Spending the weekday struggling to go to bed at a reasonable time and get up with a slim enough window to get clean and get to work somehow warps my life ethic when it comes to weekends. Despite the urge to sleep in, I keep waking up at 7, 8 wide awake when I all I really want is to destroy this lack I've built up for... Posted by xtop at 09:31 AM \| Comments (7)

July 05, 2003


	first notable thing heard on my birthday two cops at the QuikTrip: "We had a shooting. Shot in the head. And the victim ran off, so we couldn't do anything." "The victim got shot in the head?" "Yup. Ran off."... Posted by xtop at 12:40 AM \| Comments (4)

June 30, 2003


	this was the week that was: 6.30.03 First off, the tattoo. I did a thing for The Pitch about a tattoo studio. They have a business card with George W. Bush hoisting the devil horns and that, apparently, is enough to warrant notice. It's out in Blue Springs, which might as well be Oklahoma, for all it really matters. The exit sign mentions Blue Springs as well as Lake Latawana. This should give you some idea. I drive out... Posted by xtop at 11:58 PM \| Comments (2)


	... From: mom To: me What were you thinking when you got that tattoo? um... Posted by xtop at 12:55 AM

June 26, 2003


	sorry mom thursday. june.25. wednesday.june.24. 3 hours after:... Posted by xtop at 01:30 AM \| Comments (5)

June 14, 2003


	this was the week that was New titles. It's an exciting time now. If you have an opinion on things as trivial as site tweaks, leave a comment. Sitting out on my porch, smoking, listening to Randy Newman louder than necessary, earlier than necessary. Strange week. My little parasite came back like murder Thursday night. Spent a good 3 hours from 2 - 5 am Friday morning cursing god, humanity and the world at large in between writhing... Posted by xtop at 09:55 AM \| Comments (6)

June 09, 2003


	this is a sick day Home sick today. Half-watching the newest Bond film. Drinking ginger ale with real ginger (thanks kelly sue) and doing rewrites and research and reveling in my sloth. I feel guilty for some reason, or maybe that's just massive dread at how much time I'll have to spend at work tomorrow to play catch-up. I did get two Pitch articles written and plan to do the legwork on the third one by the... Posted by xtop at 02:21 PM

May 22, 2003


	green party + xtop = bam List of things to do: 128. Get name-checked on Green Party website Done... Posted by xtop at 12:26 PM \| Comments (1)

May 05, 2003


	"go to your safe place" "...a series of tornadoes pummeled Kansas and Missouri on Sunday, killing an estimated 22 people as storms left a swath of destruction a quarter-mile wide in some places. In Missouri, Lawrence County Sheriff Doug Seneker estimated a dozen people were killed when a tornado careened through the southwest part of the state. A Pierce City police officer described the downtown area as ``wiped out,'' Seneker said. ..." 8:15 8:30... Posted by xtop at 02:23 AM \| Comments (2)

April 29, 2003


	day of hell 3:04 am - my plan to stay awake all night packing is betrayed by a soft couch 6:48 am - i awake 7:00 am - at work 8:12 am - go for a smoke, look at my car, realize the license plates have been stolen 8:18 am - file police report 8:50 am - get new plates from dmv 9:20 am - return to work, still haven't heard from newspaper about page... Posted by xtop at 11:55 PM \| Comments (4)

April 28, 2003


	farewell edgar we hardly knew thee...... Posted by xtop at 11:58 PM \| Comments (2)

April 21, 2003


	code fugue home from work right now. which i shouldn't be. i still have a week's worth of quark layouts, six days of a dozen different features, finish rebuilding pages for Tennessee on an app. that is bugged out and wrong twice as often as it does what it says it does in the manual. 10 newspapers to compile and deliver, three thousand emails to write. and, ha ha ha, i still have THE... Posted by xtop at 05:56 PM

April 20, 2003


	googled Someone must know what this means... Posted by xtop at 02:58 AM \| Comments (9)

April 19, 2003


	fuuuuck 02/16 03:34AM TAIWAN 88693*1532 N 11:00 25.19 03/01 11:19AM TAIWAN 886931532 N 9:00 20.61 03/02 08:13AM TAIWAN 886931532 N 85:00 194.65 ÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ Subtotal International Calls for 816-*-6314: 240.45... Posted by xtop at 09:07 AM \| Comments (2)

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